ouch, that hurt

Well, I had my surgery this morning..

It started off with a HSG (Hysterosalpingram), which is when they use a contrat dye and look at all my reproductive bits. Then I had a which is almost the same, but they yse a tube to look up with a caera, then they biopsied the lining and wall of my uterus. Then they did the coneoscopy, they cut out the malignant area, and then they biopsied other areas of my cervix and vaginal walls. I had a local, and muscle relaxants, and pain killers for later.

Fuck, it hurts. Sitting for very long is not good, so I'm updating quickly to say that it's done, and I'm waiting for the rest of the results.

The oncologist said that one more time, and it's a hysterectomy.

Fuck.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

The Good:

Life hasn't been too bad on the most part, settled into my apartment, which I must keep in the habit of keeping clean *bashful grin*. My game's doing well, and my fave larp is restarting soon, PURGATORY!!!!!!!

Eman and I are doing well, we still have our spats, but it's mostly out of a desire to just argue I think, we both come from families that like to argue. He's still my hunnie-Poo.

Also, in the Good, I start school on April 3rd, Marvel College, I'm retraining as a stylist; also, I am now gainfully emplyed by Pinklime Salon as an apprentice while I'm going to school.

The Bad:

The other day, I had an ovarian cyst burst, which really hurts and sucks goats, but I'm kind of glad that it did, as my internal showed another growth on my cervix, which wsan't there two months ago, and wouldn't have been caught for another four months, when is my next pap. I had cervical cancer two years ago, and they did a conescopy (sp?) and it was fine. I got the biopsy results the same night, my oncologist called me at 9pm to let me know that it was malignant, and that I needed to come in for another coneoscopy. The internal showed that it was small enough to remove that way, BUT, if I get another one it's done, they'll remove at least my cervix, if not a more invasive partial hysterectomy.

I'm still thinking of this very clinically, and it hasn't sunk in on me yet, I don't think it will til I go for my appointment on Monday.

The Ugly:

Someone that I thought was a friend repeated some things that I told them in confidence, and twisted it around so that it was very ugly. They told someone who came to me with it, and it really hurt. I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with this individual, they play in my game, and they are involved in other games that I play in, tightly tied to one of my characters in another game.

I'm trying to leave it at the door, but it's hard. I don't know if I can still have them in my game without letting my feelings about the situation show, and I dont' know if I can leave it at the door at the other games. I guess I'll have to see.

Anyways...

Sorry for not posting for a long time, but I've just been meh about blogging.

Meme from Anne

Here's what you do: in the comments section of this blog, write down your favourite memory of your time with me. Only the trick is that these memories are all completely fictional. It's hilarious--go for it! Even if we don't speak often or don't really know each other, please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you!

Impress me! Make me laugh!

faerie

You are a Dragon Faerie. You are strong and a

corset

You're a Civil War era corset. You southern belle,

wow... I'm somewhat impressed

the Asserter Test finished!

you chose AY - your Enneagram type is EIGHT. "I must be strong" Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective. How to Get Along with Me Stand up for yourself... and me. Be confident, strong, and direct. Don't gossip about me or betray my trust. Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side. Give me space to be alone. Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me. I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack. When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am. What I Like About Being a Eight being independent and self-reliant being able to take charge and meet challenges head on being courageous, straightforward, and honest getting all the enjoyment I can out of life supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me upholding just causes What's Hard About Being a Eight overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to being restless and impatient with others' incompetence sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it never forgetting injuries or injustices putting too much pressure on myself getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right Eights as Children Often are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit are sometimes loners seize control so they won't be controlled fugure out others' weaknesses attack verbally or physically when provoked take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings Eights as Parents are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted are sometimes overprotective can be demanding, controlling, and rigid Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele The Enneagram Made Easy Discover the 9 Types of People HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages You are not completely happy with the result?! You chose AY Would you rather have chosen: BY (FOUR) CY (SIX) AX (SEVEN) AZ (THREE)

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 73% on ABC You scored higher than 54% on XYZ

Link: The Quick and Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

I'm stalkable?

The Last Kill 70% Survival Rate!

You are the Last Kill. After killing you, the Killer just lost his taste for it. Something about you, the way you interacted with them, it was either too wrong, or too right. Although you are dead, at least you can find solace in the fact that no one else will ever suffer at the hands of the Killer…

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 23% on stalkability

Link: The Serial Killer Survival Test written by belkyomi on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Muppets!

Kermit the Frog You scored 52% Organization, 63% abstract, and 69% extroverted!

This test measured 3 variables. First, this test measured how organized you are. Some muppets like Cookie Monster make big messes, while others like Bert are quite anal about things being clean. Second, this test measured if you prefer a concrete or an abstract viewpoint. For the purposes of this test, concrete people are considered to gravitate more to mathematical and logical approaches, whereas abstract people are more the dreamers and artistic type. Third, this test measured if you are more of an introvert or an extrovert. By definition, an introvert concentrates more on herself and an extrovert focuses more on others. In this test an introvert was somebody that either tends to spend more time alone or thinks more about herself. You are mostly organized, both concrete and abstract, and more extroverted. Here is why are you Kermit the Frog. You are both somewhat organized. You have a good idea where you put things and you probably keep your place reasonably clean. You aren't totally obsessed with neatness though. Kermit is also reasonably tidy. He'll even dress up for interviews. You both are sometimes concrete and sometimes abstract thinkers. Kermit spends a lot of his time as a reporter collecting facts, but he is also the author of the dreamy song "The Rainbow Connection." You have a good balance in your life. You know when to be logical at times, but you also aren't afraid to explore your dreams and desires... within limits of course. You are both extroverts. Kermit gets along with everyone. Sure a few folks annoy him, but that's just because they are annoying. Kermit likes to meet new people when he does his job as a street reporter. You definitely enjoy the company of others, and you don't have problems meeting new people... in fact you probably look forward to it. You are willing to take charge when necessary or work as part of a team. Oh, and in case you were wondering, Kermit starred on Sesame Street years before The Muppet Show. The other possible characters are Oscar the Grouch Big Bird Snuffleupagus Ernie Elmo Cookie Monster Grover The Count Guy Smiley Bert If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also if you want to tell me your favorite Sesame Street character, I can total them up and post them here. Perhaps your choice will win!

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 28% on Organization You scored higher than 75% on concrete-abstra You scored higher than 68% on intro-extrovert

Link: The Your SESAME STREET Persona Test written by greencowsgomoo on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

fine

Smart Paladin 55% Combativeness, 46% Sneakiness, 82% Intellect, 52% Spirituality

Valorous! Noble! Or possibly just a self-righteous jerk (but with the brains to keep you alive!)... You are a Smart Paladin! Paladins are holy warriors. They are valorous defenders of the light. Unfortunately, most of them are so ardent in their defense they tend to meet sticky ends faster than you can say "rampaging red dragon." Many people look up to Paladins, while others just consider them stuck up, overbearing, or self-righteous. Fortunately for you, unlike most Paladins, you're pretty smart. Which means that you're more likely to fall into the "admired" category, rather than the "obnoxious" or "dead" categories. Much like the crusades, you manage to combine violence and religion, though unlike the crusades, you add a healthy does of intelligence. You may be a staunch defender of the faith, a valorous champion of the weak, or the stuff that jihads are made of. Which ever one you are, just be happy that you’ve got the smarts to back it up and make it work.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 75% on Combativeness You scored higher than 74% on Sneakiness You scored higher than 74% on Intellect You scored higher than 47% on Spirituality

Link: The RPG Class Test written by MFlowers on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

yeah, so?

Yeah, I'm a lollyblogger. Too bad. I've had other things to do and other things to not do, and I just haven't wanted to post religously for a long time.

However, to partially make it up to you, here you go:

NEW E-WORDS FOR 2006: Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace (and elsewhere)

1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo and Ben wedding (or not) was a prime example - Michael Jackson, another.

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

14. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

15. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

16. GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting Send on an email by mistake)

18. WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.

19. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a cube Farm